Q: What happens when you shift your perspective towards someone (or something) that has been annoying the hell out of you?
A: Several hundred emotional bricks are lifted from your shoulders.
We have all had, at one time or another, that candid and valuable friend who is able to shift our perspective. We never want to, and we fight it all the way, but finally, the penny drops and we feel that relief. It’s the, ‘Ugh, I’m not buying into this again’, relief. Or the, ’Oh, I didn’t think of it that way before’, relief.
It comes along when we allow compassion or understanding to reach the situation. It takes much practice to foster an understanding and non-judgemental approach, but when we do – WOW – we feel so much better.
And who cares who is right or wrong? Who knows who is ‘officially’ right or wrong, and does it matter? All that really matters is that you catch yourself before you fall down a slippery hole of negative emotion, that makes you feel like crap and changes nothing.
I don’t know many people who haven’t harboured big grudges against their parents at one time or another, myself included. Shifting your perspective on your parent’s past behaviour doesn’t mean you condone it, it just means you allow yourself to agree to be the bigger person and allow all evidence into the courtroom.
The following factors were taken to court in ‘defence’ of my parents:
- Loveless or emotionally dysfunctional childhoods.
- They were war babies.
- They did as their own parents did.
- Gossip was the entertainment.
- There was a distinct ‘class’ system, and shame attached to being poor.
- Gender equality was not practised.
- Sexual and racial discrimination were part of everyday life.
- Being bullied, and being beaten with a stick by a teacher was considered part of growing up.
- Mental health issues and postnatal depression were shoved under the carpet.
- Divorce or separation was not an easy or accepted option for women.
- Society’s norms and customs dictated how people lived.
- Women were expected to put up and shut up, while abusive absent fathers were considered ‘Head of the House’.
While we may believe every adult is in charge of their own behaviour, more often than not they are running from their own parent’s beliefs and agendas, which is well out of date.
We are all running on different agendas. So who are we to judge one another?
This doesn’t mean you allow people to invade your personal boundaries because you understand their ‘issues’. It just means that as you maintain your boundaries, you also maintain your emotional balance when you are around them.
Kinesiology is a holistic therapy that creates balance in your beliefs and emotions, so you can step into, and enjoy the life you deserve.